He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
