I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
