Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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