Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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