I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Text me some of your sweat
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