could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
