I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
