god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
