please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
