You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i think i just lost a toe
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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