Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
