Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
