my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
