I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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