so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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