You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
