it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
