I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize