kristin has been a bad kristin
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
