I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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