apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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