It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
