I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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