Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize