i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
