Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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