i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
