My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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