does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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