I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize