I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
