Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
