Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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