pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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