yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
