i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
