She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
