Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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