My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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