I smell stomach acid.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize