so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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