My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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