That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
