would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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