I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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