Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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