If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
