How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
