I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
