They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
