TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
