I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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