Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Terrible idea I love it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
