Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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