make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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