What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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