Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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