You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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