I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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