Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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