Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Boobs speak an international language.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
