I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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