You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
